Way back into love…

I’ll be 25 years young this year. Maybe its time for me to find someone who I can share my dream with (a steady boyfriend that lead to holy matrimony, yay!!) my FnF (frenz and family) keep asking to whom I attach with; with a poker face I answered, I’m attach to no one… I admit that I do have a lot of men in line just waiting me to say ‘yes, I do like and love you too’…but I guess I’m not really into them rite now ( I’m certified true woman,OKAY! Not a lesbo)
I wish that, once I found someone, let him be my everlasting soul mate. It’s been almost four years I’m unattached… its not that I’m used to it, I did felt its miserable being single. It just that I can’t bear the feeling of heart broken. The last time (which happened to be my first love) was killing me softly. My heart is so fragile (I guess) until it broke into pieces…assembling the pieces was a real challenging process for me as I tend to look at the past and regret was linger in my heart…anyway, as time flies,… I’m far too good without him at last… as I learned how to forgive and forget…
I’m the woman who loves 100% my man, that’s how love should be I guess. I’m just a typical girl, lots of flaw and imperfection… it’s a way too much for me if I ask God to grant me someone who dearly look like an angel in every way… I just want to be with someone who can lift my soul when I’m down, someone who can look beyond the wall and I don’t want someone who born and raised in silver spoon, because I’m willing to accompany my man at the bottom until we reach the peak of our life. It’s good to enjoy the feeling how life change from nothing to something. I know the journey we walk together surely was not beautiful as I imagine but as long as we love and trust each other, and the respect we build through the commitment to live as one, I believe we can endure anything…anything…
Emmmph... I wish I can find someone within these two years (that’s not a resolution, guys! It’s a note to God)

Aku cinta bukan di bayang mata,…

Happy New Year!

It’s been a while… tak tulis something di blog ni..,rindu rasanya.
Inilah kali pertama aku menaip sesuatu di Tahun 2010 ini. Bila ku kenangkan tahun 2009, banyak memberikanku kenangan suka dan duka. Terlalu banyak pengalaman yang tidak ingin kulupakan. Kekesalan dan kedukaan itu lebih banyak menghiasi diari 2009 ku..
Sambutan Tahun Baru kali ini, aku sambut seperti tahun lepas. Sunyi tanpa kehadiran teman2 dan keluarga. Tahun lepas, hanya aku dan udoi saja. Kali ni, aku dgn olga lah pula… Harap2 tahun depan tak sambut Tahun Baru mcm ni lagi… Apapun, aku menikmati sepenuhnya detik peralihan 2009 ke 2010. Banyak perkara terlintas di fikiran, segala usaha yang telah dilakukan, impian yang tidak termakbul,peluang yang terlepas..banyak sangat yang terlintas..lantas mempersalahkan keterbatasan diri.
Hanya doa yang kupanjatkan dikelilingi bunyi bunga api di rumah2 jiran..tdk seperti selalu…ada bbq, jamuan…
Semoga tahun 2010 ini, memberikan kita kedamaian, kesatuan hati dan kesihatan yang baik. Biarlah kasih yang kita tabur sepanjang tahun lalu, kita gandakan lagi tahun ini..dan semoga pengalaman lalu mendewasakan kita…

SELAMAT TAHUN BARU semuaaaa!!
(hiduplah dalam terang hari ini dan pengharapan hari esok)